


In the Dark

by pokimunchies



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, married couple problem, marshmallows kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokimunchies/pseuds/pokimunchies
Summary: Yamada spent the whole night thinking if he has messed up somewhere in their relationship, that has caused Yuto to go to such extent of leaving his apartment in the middle of the night. Only to find out his boyfriend is the number one dork he has always been grateful to know.





	In the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Yamada's JUMPaper on August 25th, 2017 and a scene at Hey! Say! JUMP's concert where Yuto said something about melting marshmallows.....

"Yutti, I can't sleep like this." Yamada calls out, turning his body around to face Yuto who has his back facing him. He puts his hands on Yuto's shoulder and shakes him a little.

"Bear with it. Just tonight, please. I need complete darkness to sleep tonight." Yuto reasons without changing his position. He breathes out and pulls up his blanket to cover his body fully.

"Why? What’s happened? You always agree to have a small light on at night. Why do you suddenly want complete darkness?" Yamada pulls the blanket a little and peeks at Yuto’s forehead to check his temperature.

"I’m totally fine. I just want complete darkness. Why can't you accept it this one time? You're scared? You're always scared at everything, it's embarrassing." Yuto's tone is flat and serious. There's no chuckle in it unlike his usual tone.

Yamada shrugs, annoyed at the way Yuto responds to his question. He doesn’t bother to think about such oddness Yuto is displaying right now. He stands up and goes to the other side of the bed to face Yuto properly.

"Say it again."

Yamada turns the light on in one swift motion and stands in front of Yuto, arms crossed.

"Say what? I'm tired. Turn off the damn light and go to sleep. We have rehearsal tomorrow and we can't be late unless you want to get yelled at by Yabu-chan." Yuto keeps his eyes shut and body covered fully with blanket, not giving the slightest bit of attention towards Yamada who's filled up with anger.

"I've told you before and you know it that I can't sleep with lights off. Why are you suddenly pushing me to bear with this? If you have other problems with me then just say it." Yamada pushes Yuto to the centre of the bed and hovers on top of him. He tears the blanket off Yuto and anticipates his next move.

"I have lots of problems. And you're all of them."

His jaw drops at Yuto's answer. His heart breaks more when Yuto carries on with his explanation.

"Why are you so fucking selfish? I've been coping up with you since forever and I'm sick of everything!"

Yuto opens his eyes finally, responding by raising his voice and pushing Yamada away with his hands. Yamada stumbles next to him, looking at Yuto with disbelief in his eyes.

"Huh? Why don't you just leave if you're sick of me? I don't need your half-assed feeling to keep up with my shit. Either take it or leave it. There's the fucking door for you!" Yamada shouts back and stands up on his feet, feeling his anger build up inside him as he tries desperately to control it.

Yamada has no idea what's got into Yuto that he suddenly says such thing he could never imagine a Yuto Nakajima; his partner for years will say. He doesn’t understand what he has just said either. Sadness and disappointment consume his mind, leaving him powerless.

Yamada can’t believe his eyes when he sees Yuto getting up from the bed and takes out his bag from the closet. He fills it with his clothes, throwing them in one by one into the bag messily.

"Fine. I'm leaving."

Suddenly, everything falls into pieces. Yamada crumbles with the words that leaves Yuto's mouth, passing through him like blade gliding across his face.

The night turns cold.

Yamada hears one last sound of the door being slammed. His heart is pounding, but this time it's not Yuto's touch that causes it. It's a painful stab that he feels storming through and breaking its way into his brain.

 

_Why?_

 

_***_

 

 

"Everyone is here? Great. We can start our rehearsal now. Hikaru, please help me to arrange their position." Yabu calls out to Hikaru and hands a piece of paper to him containing a diagram of their position for their upcoming concert.

Hikaru nods and takes the paper from Yabu, smiling lightly.

"Eh? Wait. Where's Yuto?" Yabu scans the members again and realises that Yuto is missing.

Yamada knows it since he came this morning that Yuto's missing. But he stays quiet and doesn’t inform anyone because he thought Yuto would appear later. But he starts to worry now as they’re starting and Yuto is not present. Especially when he recalls what happened the night before.

“Yama-chan, don’t you know where he is?” Inoo questions Yamada, more like confronting because everyone knows that Yuto and Yamada live under one roof. Yuto moved into Yamada’s apartment around a year ago. Everyone can still freshly recall the spark in Yuto’s eyes as he announced his relationship with Yamada. He showed off a key to Yamada’s apartment in front of everyone and kissed him fully on the lips. Everyone wasn’t all that surprised though. They all knew it, way before Yuto announced it. There obviously is something fishy about the two who are always being touchy both on stage and off stage.

“Yama-chan, don’t tell me you guys got into a fight?” Daiki grasps Yamada’s hand and stares at him sternly.

Yamada stands frozen at Inoo’s and Daiki’s question, unable to think of excuse to cover up his mess. Everyone turns their gaze to Yamada. Just when Yamada starts opening his mouth to answer everyone’s stare, Yuto bursts into the room. He wears a plain black shirt and jeans, with mask and glasses covering his face. His bag is dangling on his shoulder as he runs while fixing his messy hair. It looks like Yuto left his house – now that everyone is convinced that Yuto didn’t stay with Yamada last night - in rush that he didn’t have time to think about his appearance.

After putting his bag aside, Yuto comes running towards Yabu who’s standing in front of everyone.

“Yabu-chan, I’m sorry for coming late.” Yuto bows in front of Yabu who has his arms crossed in front of him and put his serious face on.

“I don’t care what has caused you to make this mistake but please understand the meaning of being professional. No personal issue should affect your performance at work. I hope you fully understand this, Nakajima-san.” Yabu steals a glance at Yamada after speaking, signalling that this piece of lecture is addressed to him as well.

Yuto nods and bows again, saying his apology over and over. After apologizing for a few times more, Hikaru pats his back and asks him to stop apologizing.

“Stop it. You know our father is just that strict, right? Don’t do such stupid thing again next time.”

Hikaru grabs Yuto’s hand and drags him to his position next to Yamada.

_“Wait, why beside him? Out of everyone?”_

Yuto sniffles and keeps his distance with Yamada without taking a single glance at the other.

Yamada looks sadly at Yuto, still feeling the painful memory of their argument last night. He feels cold, remembering Yuto’s words and how he slammed his apartment door loudly.

“Yuto, are you okay?” Yamada speaks, low and careful of his own tone.

Yuto only mutters a “yeah,” without tearing his sight from their choreographer who is now giving them instructions.

Yamada feels a tinge of pain surging to his mind at the cold response. He tries to diminish the sadness he’s feeling by following the choreographer’s instruction and dances with all his might. His mind focuses on his own movement, as bold as ever. Yuto sneaks a peek from his side, watching Yamada swaying beautifully with the music.

_“What’s with him? Is he trying to seduce me?”_

Yuto finds it hard to focus on his own movement when Yamada moves more aggressively. His mind is disrupted to the point that he almost bumps into Yamada. He sways to the side to avoid the crash but it is noticeable enough that the choreographer calls out to Yuto to focus.

The other members aren’t much affected by Yuto’s – and Yamada’s – behaviour and act like nothing happens. It’s only Chinen who would nudge at Yuto a few times to wake him to his sense.

Yuto heaves a sigh of relief when his position finally changes. But he keeps stealing glances at Yamada and analyses how different he is today. He’s frustrated to remember such demeanour he showed Yamada last night.

Yuto concludes that if he keeps acting the way he is and not reaching out to solve the matter soon, they’ll only drift further away. He can’t risk that. He can’t risk it anymore when he catches Yamada’s eyes aren’t as bright as Yuto has always known and notices the bags he has under his eyes. Yamada must have trouble of sleeping last night. Just like Yuto who couldn’t bring himself to sleep with the thought of Yamada crying on the edge of his bed. Yuto knew his decision was wrong by leaving Yamada just like that, but he did it. He felt disappointed at his own action as soon as he arrived home last night, but returning to Yamada’s apartment at that point seemed useless to him. Yuto had so much to think of.

Yamada turns around and their eyes meet for a second. Yuto gasps at his expressionless stare and could only mumble in silence.

 

_“I want to hug you so bad.”_

 

***

The rehearsal goes pretty fast and it’s already time to head back home.

“Yama-chan, wanna have some drink tonight?” Keito walks over to the sullen looking Yamada who is now packing his bag.

“Thanks, Keito, but I’m not in the mood for it. I want to go home and sleep.” Yamada looks up to Keito who smiles at his answer and pats his back in a loving manner.

“What is it this time? You know you can always tell me.” Keito sits beside Yamada, looking at his own reflection in the mirror in front of him and fixes his fringe. His tone is calm and reassuring, and Yamada turns his gaze to look at his best friend.

“I don’t even know what is the matter this time. Yuto was suddenly being all cold last night. And.., he left. No further explanation. I’m worried if it is something that’s troubling him and I can’t help him at all.” Yamada takes out a pair of glasses and sighs deeply after explaining the situation to Keito, who nods and pats his back.

“Yuto is so mysterious. He is the kind of person who will cover up his problems and tries to act as if he is unaffected. I think you should approach him slowly and be an ear to listen to him more. But anyway... I’m sure you know him better, and Yuto probably just needs some time to get his head around his problems.” Keito pats his back again and prepares to leave as he notices Chinen has returned from bathroom.

“Ah, it’s just married people’s problem. I’m sure you guys will make up by tonight.” Chinen blurts out and messes Yamada’s hair.

“And in case you guys won’t make up by tomorrow and keep making blunders, I have no choice but to punish you both. Yabu-chan has entrusted me with this task.” Yamada stands up from his seat and tries to revenge Chinen who has transformed his hair into a mess.

Chinen uses Keito as a shield and clutches to his waist. Yamada pulls Chinen’s arm and aims to tickle him with the other hand. They all laugh away at their own act. But Yamada is taking Chinen’s words seriously. He stops chasing Chinen after a while and sits down again, putting his glasses on.

Keito and Chinen look at each other, not knowing how to act or what to say. Chinen decides that it’s time to leave when he hears talking from outside. It’s Yuto and Takaki.

“Well, I hope you guys reconcile soon. I don’t like seeing your ugly sulking face, Yama-chan.” It is Chinen’s last words before dragging Keito away from the room, not forgetting to take Takaki’s stuffs with him as well.

Yamada shakes his head at his silly friends and notices Yuto emerging from the door with Takaki. Another second, Takaki is gone after Chinen drags him away and Keito runs at last with bags dangling from both shoulders.

Yuto laughs at his two mates who are dragging Takaki away, not realising that Yamada has been looking at him. That Yamada is in that room in the first place.

“Yama-chan, you’re still here?” Yuto walks towards Yamada’s direction. He is talking to Yamada but avoiding eye contact with him, focusing his sight at his bag that’s located just beside Yamada.

“Yeah, I’m just about to leave.”

Again, it’s expressionless. Just like the gaze that he carried an hour ago when their eyes met.

Yuto decides that it’s enough.

“Wait. We need to talk.” Yuto mutters, slowly, unconvinced of his own words but there’s part of him believes that Yamada would listen.

“What is it about? If it’s about last night, I’m fine with it. You can just return the key to me. I’m sorry I’ve been forcing things on you and being too insensitive..”

Yamada stands up and prepares to leave before Yuto cuts his sentence and seizes his hand.

“There is nothing fine with that!” Yuto shouts.

That isn’t what Yuto expects to hear. Where is the bold Yamada? Where is Yamada Ryosuke who will fight for the last strawberry on his birthday cake? Why is he apologizing and giving in right now?

“Yama-chan, I’m sorry. As I thought, I can’t sleep without you.”

Yuto takes Yamada in his embrace and pulls him close to him, still arranging the words in his mind. For now, he just wants to feel Yamada’s warmth that he had missed for one night. And in the dark that surrounded him last night, there was nothing else he felt except cold and emptiness.

“Yuto, what’s happened?” Yamada hugs him back; tighter, filling the tiny space between them and sniffs the scent which is Yuto’s. A scent that comforts him as soon as it makes its way to his nose and rifles through his body.

“I was just, insecure..” Yuto kisses Yamada lightly on the lips, and Yamada can sense fear, a form of hesitation as he quickly pulls away and ruffles his hair instead. His body still press on Yamada, and for a few seconds there was no sound but their breath crowding the atmosphere.

“Insecure about what?” Yamada breaks apart and looks at Yuto. Yuto puts his hands on Yamada’s shoulders, unsure of how to start it. It was much of a burden last night, but now he wishes he could turn back the time and take back the words he said to Yamada. He admits it is so silly of him, so immature. He has known Yamada for years yet he is still triggered at such small matter.

Yuto shakes Yamada’s shoulder and studies his expression. Gathering all the courage he has to say what needs to be said.

“I’m insecure.. Because you call Kamiki with such nickname. Like, Kamiki-kyun? What the hell is that? I understand you guys are close but.... he even calls you honey? I.. I never call you honey even once!”

Yamada freezes in his spot at hearing each word that escapes Yuto’s mouth. He wonders if his boyfriend is being real. Yuto is seriously jealous over nickname he and Kamiki give to each other? Yamada spent the whole night thinking if he has messed up somewhere in their relationship, that has caused Yuto to go to such extent of leaving his apartment in the middle of the night. Only to find out his boyfriend is the number one dork he has always been grateful to know.

“Yutti, is that all about it? You’re jealous with a nickname I give to Kamiki-san? And you left me in the middle of the night because of that?” Yamada is on the verge of laughing his ass off, hands on his hips and eyes stare down at the floor.

“Anyone will be jealous when his boyfriend is being that lovey dovey with someone else! And I told you I couldn’t sleep last night. It was my loss. Can you not laugh at it please?”

But Yamada isn’t stopping in his way.

“Ne, Yutti, you want me to call you Yuto-kyun too? And you can always call me honey if you want. Just don’t be silly, please. It’s not like I’ve just known Kamiki for a year or two. Anyway, no matter how close I am with him, no one can beat the closeness between you and me.”

Yamada presses his body on Yuto and arms wrap around him, with nose sinking on his neck and lips kissing the exposed skin. Explaining to Yuto about the closeness that he means. There is no distance, only layers of skin that stick with each other, comforting and warming like they’re meant to be.

Yuto’s jealousy is unreasonable but Yamada understands it fully. That’s just how much Yuto loves Yamada that he becomes too scared and insecure at times. Even when they’re on stage and other members get close to Yamada, a part of Yuto can’t allow him being touched by others. But sneaky Yamada enjoys trolling with his emotion and being all touchy with his self-proclaimed son; none other than Chinen Yuri.

“Ugh, stop it. That just sounds weird for me..”

Yuto enfolds him with both arms and kisses his hair. There is no more explanation he wants to hear from Yamada. He knows he’s just being plain irresolute at times that it annoys him. After all, who won’t be insecure while having Yamada Ryosuke as a boyfriend? Eyes of girls all around Japan – and the world - are fixed on him. Many people admire Yamada for his talent as an idol and actor and loving him fondly for his personality.

Yuto feels like he wants to tell the whole world that Yamada belongs to him. But he knows by knowing Yamada recognising his feelings for him is more than enough. Having Yamada in his arms every night is a blessing he is much content with and he wants to cherish every moment.

“Then just call me Yama. It’s a nickname that you have specially for me. I like that more than ‘honey’ or whatever Chinen-chan calls me with.” Yamada accepts the soft hands that begins trailing on his back and descents deeper into Yuto.

“Yama.. Yama Yama.. I can’t wait to get back home and cuddle you all night long.” Yuto starts kissing Yamada’s shoulders, nipping at his collarbones and streams down, forcing his way to leave marks on his chest.

“Yutti Yutti Yutti. Then.. take me home. And please don’t get jealous easily next time. You know I belong only for you, right?”

Yuto catches Yamada in a kiss, opening his mouth to slide in and melt in the warmness of Yamada’s mouth.

“Sorry for the commotion.. and yeah, you belong to me. Cause you’re my wife.”

Yuto bites softly on the bottom lip of Yamada’s, causing him to moan a little from the bite.

“You’re so sweet.” Yamada teases Yuto with arms pulling closer and pushes him to a corner.

“You’re sweeter, baby. And warm. Like melting marshmallows.”

Yuto dives in with tongue hustling inside Yamada and relishes the sweet fluffiness that guides him deeper.

"I can eat this forever. Such sweetness that melts in my mouth.."

Yamada can only wonder about what his boyfriend is blabbering about in between kisses. He lets Yuto touch him, tearing his piece of garment one by one. Love and lust that drive them tonight can’t wait to take them further into lunacy, their solid destination.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I firstly wrote this cause I had so many angst feelings in my head but it actually turns out really fluffy?  
> Hahahaha..  
> I surprisingly like it a little, though. :) 
> 
> I hope you like it! Please give me commentssss cause I love them! And I love you!  
> See you next time!


End file.
